Weapon of Choice
by swartzvald
Summary: Tenten has been kicked out of her apartment, so Neji invites her to stay with him, does it have anything to do with the strange dreams he's been having? And what's this about an engagement? Nejiten.
1. Just another nejiten

**Just Another Nejiten**

**Chapter the first**

* * *

It was late at night in the so-called hidden village of the Leaf. It was _so-called _because because it was, firstly rather too large to be regarded as a mere village and secondly, it was not hidden in any way. In a windowless room deep within the Hyuuga Compound, home of the most envied and influential ninja clan in the "village", the honorable council of elders were having a meeting of great importance.

"The motion is carried," said the head elder. "Branch members are now only allowed one pudding snack per meal." He rapped his gavel on the conference table.

"Next on the agenda..." he trailed off as he peered myopically at the papers in front of him a slightly glazed expression coming over his face."Neji's engagement."

The elders groaned in unison, a token few even swore colorfully.

"Didn't we address this already?" complained one, as he scratched his chin absentmindedly.

"Lady Hinata said no."another said as he shook his head rigorously, as if to emphasize the point.

"Since when has that mattered?" another replied, somewhat indignant.

The lead elder looked down at the table with a sheepish, throughly embarrassed expression on his face. "She did that blasted…_thing_...you know."He raised his gaze, his face reddening in embarrassment**. **"…where she makes water come out of her eyes." The council shuddered at the power of Hinata's Teary-eyes-no-jutsu.

"Well, what about one of the other Hyuuga girls?" piped out another.

"They are all terrified of him." responded the lead elder, a scowl forming on his face.

"So, someone outside the family then..."

The chamber grew quiet as the elders lowered their heads in thought. After what felt like eternity one of the younger elders (only 75) raised his voice tentatively.

"What about that one girl?" He was met with nothing but blank looks so he continued. "You know, sort of plain, wears her hair up like..." he made two fists and placed them on the sides of his head in the international gesture for hair buns.

"Oooooooh." they chorused, finally understanding that it was the Weapons Mistress he spoke of.

"What was her name?"

They thought hard.

"Xian-pu?"

"Chun-li?"

"Mu-Lan?"

No one could remember. After several minutes of attempting to jog their rusty memoriesthe elders gave up.

"Just put 'Bun Girl'."

"Works for me." replied the leader with a slight nod and gaveled the matter closed.

0-0

"That was pathetic Tenten." said Neji, his voice as cold as ice. "I expected much better from you." he told the girl who was completely drenched with sweat, caked in mud and bent over, hands on her knees, her chest heaving with each breath.

"But Neji-"

"No excuses, Tenten." he snapped, cutting her off.

"Right Neji, Sorry Neji." she apologized, her voice dripping with shame.

"You will be punished."

"Um...what?" Quickly before her tired body could react he pulled her down across his lap, pinning her left arm against his torso and twisting the other behind her back in a perfectly executed hammerlock. She kicked and bucked wildly but failed to extricate herself from her teammate's iron hold.

"Neji, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Hn…providing motivation." he spoke smoothlyas he brought a hand to her rear.

+SMACK+SMACK+SMACK+SMA-

Neji jerked awake, sitting bolt upright, panting, sweating and uncomfortably aroused as he propped himself up on his hands. He sat there for several minutes blinking into the darkness. 'Another one,' he thought. This was unacceptable, he should not be lusting after his teammate, it was...unprofessional. Glancing at the clock next to his bed he saw it was time for training. Attempting to forget the rather disturbing dream he headed for the shower.

0-0

Hiashi frowned at the piece of paper in front of him, not believing his eyes. He looked at the other side, still disbelieving what he saw he activated his byakugan. Finally deciding that it was, in fact, real he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'senile old bastards' and sent for Hinata.

"Y-yes Father?"said the future clan head as she entered Hiashi's office. He got right to the point.

"The Elders have chosen a bride for Neji." he said eying his daughter seriously.

Hinata paled visibly.

"W-who?" she asked timorously, wringing her hands together.

"Someone called 'Bun Girl'."

She felt tremendous relief, and resisted the urge to sigh. "Tenten?"

Hiashi crossed out 'Bun Girl' and penciled in 'Tenten'. He paused, that name sounded vaguely familiar. Then he remembered.

"Is she one of Neji's teammates?"

"Yes, Father."

Hiashi chuckled softly. "She was rather taken with him as I recall. Are they sleeping together?"

"No, Father." Hiashi frowned, puzzled. What was wrong with his nephew? When he was Neji's age he'd have been all over that girl like an (oh, dear god censored).

"Is Neji gay?" he wondered aloud.

"I-I don't t-think so."her cheeks reddening

Hiashi paused in thought for a moment. "Hinata," he said conspiratorially, "I have a job for you."

0-0

Neji was several minutes late to training , having lingered a bit in his traditional post Tenten dream cold shower. Lee had gotten here ahead of him and for some mysterious reason had set up a tent. Neji sighed; he just knew this was going to be something stupid.

"Lee, why is-"he began but Lee put his finger up to his lips and pointed into the tent. Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt Neji walked over crossing his arms over his chest and looked into the tent. He looked away a moment later, that couldn't be right. He activated his byakugan to dispel the genjutsu but nothing happened.

Turning to the spandex clad ninja, he asked, "Lee, why is Tenten sleeping in a field?"

"I don't know Neji, perhaps we should ask?"

"Hn..." The violence of Tenten's reaction to being awakened was generally in inverse proportion to how peaceful she looked. And she looked very peaceful.

"We should find a stick," suggested Lee, he looked back into the tent. "a very long stick." The next few minutes were rather chaotic but the end result was Lee, on his back with Tenten's rather large knife at his throat. Neji smirked up from his position on the ground from where she tackled him a few moments earlier; he had given her that knife.

"Lee?"she said, blinking in the sunlight. She turned to her left. "Neji?" She got up off of Lee and sheathed her blade, it was more a knife than a machete but only just. "Um...what exactly are you guys doing here?" she asked deliberately as she placed her hands on her hips and eyed them with interest.

"Training." answered Neji bluntly.

"...Right." she said embarrassed. 'I must have overslept.' she thought, 'I meant to have my stuff put away by now'.

"Tenten." Said Neji, interrupting her thoughts. "Did you get kicked out of another apartment?"

"No."

He frowned, eying her disapprovingly.

"...Yes." Neji pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What was it this time."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Tenten..."

"Something about unsecured explosives." she admitted. "I wasn't really paying attention."She shrugged her shoulders offhandedly as if to blow it off.

Neji nearly face palmed.

"How are my youthful students this fine morning!" interrupted Gai as he bolted towards the group with inhuman speed.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei, our youthful blossom has once more run afoul of the most unyouthful tenant's association!"

"Well then Lee, we shall have to make room for her in the Casa del Youth!"

"That is a wonderful idea Gai-sensei!"

"She'll be staying with me." Interrupted Neji, as the mental image of Tenten with a bowl cut and orange leg warmers filled him with unvarnished dread. The tight, clingy spandex, on the other hand...he banished _that_ thought from his mind. She shot him a grateful smile, he stoically nodded his head and definitely didn't stand up a little straighter and puff his chest out.

"Excellent Neji, you should always help out your precious teammates! Now we shall warm up for Youthful training with 10 laps around the village!" Thus team Gai began their day.

0-0

Hinata was fretting, not that this is in any way unusual for the future clan head but the reason behind it was definitely unique. Her father wanted her to matchmake! His exact words were 'encourage them to discover one another'. What did that even mean? She couldn't manage her own lack of love life, much less interfere in someone else's. She drew in a slow calming breath. Okay she could do this, there must be dozens of things she could do, like...

Um.

Uh.

No.

Oh! She could...no, never mind.

She was really bad at this. She was torn away from her musings when she heard the doorbell sound. Grateful for the distraction she waved off the servants and answered it herself. She opened the door to reveal a tattered Tenten looking embarrassed.

"Um, hi Hinata."

"Hello Tenten, good afternoon." The two normally got on rather well but today there was something awkward in the air. Hinata waited patiently for her to speak.

"Well, um, the thing is, I got kicked out of my apartment and, uh, Neji said I could stay here, um, if thats all right?" Hinata just stared her mouth slightly agape**. **'Wow,' she thought, 'isn't this convenient.' She was never this lucky, perhaps it was some kind of karmic payback for her crappy childhood, she was suddenly filled with the urge to go find Naruto.

"Hinata?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry, yes, thats fine." If she remembered correctly the room next to Neji was empty. "I know just where to put you."

* * *

**A/N:Well that wraps up the first chapter, I'd like to thank clancrusher and temarixshikamaruluva for their beta work, yes I needed two, bite me.**

**next time: Tenten gets settled in, meets her new landlord aka: Hiashi, and discovers the benefits and drawbacks of cohabitation, don't hold your breath.**

**Oh, I don't own Naruto.**


	2. Getting Settled

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter the Second**

**Getting Settled**

**Even if I clap my hands three times and say**

**"I believe in fairies" I still won't own Naruto**

* * *

Neji was absolutely appalled, there was no other word to describe it, simply appalled.

"This is where she…_LIVES_?" he demanded as he motioned towards the dilapidated tenement building that he and Lee were standing within.

"Lived." corrected Lee.

Neji glared at him.

Showing no acknowledgment whatsoever Lee knocked on the door marked _Manager_. After a second, or four it was answered by a rather short, plump, balding gentleman with an unidentifiable stain down the front of his too small undershirt. It was a nearly nauseating sight. Neji winkled his nose in disgust.

"Yeah?" he questioned as he raised a bushy eyebrow.

"We are here for Tenten's things." said Lee.

"Yeah, yeah…the Weapon Chick…ah, right, though here." Neji and Lee followed him into a back room, Neji being exceedingly careful not to touch anything. The place was absolutely filthy. Ignoring the man for a moment he rounded on Lee, his fists clenched.

"Did _YOU_ know our teammate was living in this...this..." he searched for a word that would adequately convey his complete and utter disdain, and failed miserably. "..._place_?"

"Hey!" protested the Landlord, but immediately quailed under Neji's penetrating glare and wisely scuttled away.

"Weapons are expensive Neji, even the ones she makes herself."explained Lee

"Hn..." Neji let the matter pass, for the moment, but he would make a definite point of speaking with Tenten about it the next time he saw turned his attention to Tenten's rather humble possessions, just a pair of bulging steamer trunks and an oversize wooden cabinet. They each grabbed one of the trunks and took them outside to the cart Gai-sensei had gotten from somewhere. It was their duty as her teammates to help Tenten move, or at least thats what Gai told them when he cut training short, much to Neji's irritation. Oh well, he would just make her train longer tomorrow. They went back inside to get the cabinet. Neji eyed it warily. It was battered and remarkably old but was also very well made, Tenten had made a point of telling him to be very careful with it as it was some sort of heirloom from her deceased parents**.**

"Okay." said Lee, rubbing his hands together, an apprehensive smile on his face. "On three."

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

There was a collective grunt as the cabinet failed to move.

"Heavy Isn't it?" said Lee.

"Hn." agreed Neji.

0-0

"And this is where you will be staying." said Hinata, as she openedthe sliding door and ushered in a curious Tenten. "The bathroom is over there**.**" She said motioning towards the far wall. "And if you n-need anything N-neji is r-right next door."

'Wow' she thought 'this is _way _nicer than my last place.' It would be great to sleep on an actual bed instead of making due with the bedroll she used on missions. The decor was a bit plain, but she could put up with it for a private bathroom that she didn't have to share with twelve other people. She had the sudden feeling that she was overlooking something important, what was the last thing Hinata said?

"Um, sorry, what?"

"Neji's room is n-next d-door, t-that's not a problem is it?"

"NO!" she exclaimed far more quickly and louder than she had intended. She had to fight down the reddening in her cheeks. "Um... I mean that's fine, why wouldn't it be? Really, he's my teammate after all, right, good ol' Neji, heh heh, yeah..." Hinata gave her an odd look but before she could comment on it they were interrupted by the arrival of Lee, Neji, and a half dozen Naruto's who were carrying a rather large cabinet.

"Hiya Tenten, where d'ya want this?"

"Put it over there for right now." she said indicating the wall opposite the bed. Neji, Lee and the Narutos heaved the cabinet into place. Five of the orange ninjas disappeared into puffs of smoke, leaving what one presumed was the original.

"Geez, whats in that thing?" he asked, rubbing his sore back. Tenten beamed and nearly skipped over to the cabinet and flung the doors open.

"My Babies!" she exclaimed as she burst out laughing. The cabinet unfolded outward in an intricate dance of multiple sliding racks of various sizes, which revealed more implements of personal destruction than the human mind could comfortably comprehend.

Tenten's laugh just escalated as the others looked on in disbelief.

"So many..." whispered Naruto in awe.

"...bigger on the inside." mumbled Hinata.

Neji and Lee had sort of been expecting something like this. Lee just grinned proudly, while Neji smirked in approval.

During the commotion Hiashi had managed to slip into the room completely undetected. "That certainly is an impressive collection Miss..." he interrupted. Neji hissed in surprise and dropped into a kneeling position and after a split second pulled a confused Tenten down with him.

"This is Tenten, father." introduced Hinata, as she bowed her head.

"Indeed." he had immediatelyrecognized the hairstyle. "Hinata."

"Yes, father?"

"Take **t**hese two with you." he said motioning towards Lee and Naruto. "And go retrieve the rest of Tenten's possessions. Now I need a word in private with her and Neji." He sent her a small sly smile. She blushed at his unaccustomed approval, no matter how subtle.

"Yes, father." she obliged, and escorted the two boisterous ninja from the room. Hiashi turned to face the room's two remaining occupants.

"Nephew, it was my understanding that traditional Hyuuga custom dictates that all guests _must_ be vetted by the Clan Head before being moved into the compound." He was eying Neji seriously. "Or is it your belief that I am mistake? Perhaps you could enlighten me if this law was changed without my knowledge or approval." A hint of condescending sarcasm was leaked into his voice. He was frowning at his nephew, his expression completely unreadable. Tenten bit down on her lip nervously, she didn't want Neji to get in any trouble because of her.

"It is within my rights as the Head of Branch House to offer accommodations within the Branch House to any potential allies under these particular circumstances." Hiashi was pleased but didn't let it show on his face.

"Greetings Lord Hiashi." interrupted Tenten, kowtowing respectfully "Please allow this humble kunoichi to accept the Branch Head's generous offer to stay in your magnificent home, as she has no other place to go." Hiashi eyed her objectively, pretending to mull it over.

"Very well then, you shall be presented to the clan at dinner, be sure to dress appropriately." And with that he turned and swept out of the room with all the regality of a king. Only when he was long gone did she breathe a sigh of relief. She then noticed that the remaining Hyuuga was giving her a confounded look.

"What? Don't look at me like that. Come on, I didn't sleep through _all _the etiquette lessons at the academy."

0-0

Hiashi was pleased, well as pleased as he ever got anyway. Hinata had done well in getting her targets under the same roof. Physical closeness was often a key part in achieving emotional intimacy. He was quite happy with the council's choice for Neji's bride. Most of the research he had done suggested she wasn't as mannered as she had been. He went over her pros in his head as he walked back to his office. She was an orphan, so no deadbeat relatives looking for a handout. She had no bloodline ability to interfere with the Byakugan. She was quite a good ninja, definitely not a prodigy like Neji but was still far and beyond the average. Her file indicated that the Research and Development Team was interested in her because of her extensive knowledge of weaponry; but she had turned them down in order to continue working with his nephew. After seeing them together he could see why. He'd hardly ever seen two people so in sync with one another. The way Neji kept himself between her and any perceived threat, in this particular case Hiashi himself, and the way Tenten always seemed to be watching Neji's back. It made him think of ninja with perfect aim in three-hundred and sixty degrees, but perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. Maybe the Elders knew what they were doing?

…nah.

0-0

Tenten sighed in relief as the warm water flowed through her hair and down her body. It had been a busy day, and she still had to meet Neji's relatives. She was not looking forward to it. Neji and Hinata she knew fairly well, the rest of the clan however was another matter entirely. She would be downright lying if she said she wasn't nervous but she would rather eat her own kunai than admit it out loud. She shook her head, it was best not to think of it. She turned off the water and exited the shower. Apparently the Hyuuga's dressed for dinner, and as their guest she was expected to as well. Also, it had been made clear to her that her only dress, a red cheongsam that she thought was rather fetching, would not be appropriate and was thus lent one of Hinata's old kimonos. Hopefully it would fit, for Hinata was far more _full figured_ than she herself was. She dried herself off and left the bathroom, she eyed the kimono warily, the only thing she knew about them was that you weren't supposed to wear underwear with them. She figured out the robes fairly quickly, but found herself confused by the ribbony-belty thing. Nothing she did seemed to look right. Perhaps there was some sort of trick to it. After about fifteen minutes of attempting to puzzle out the darn thing herself, she cursed colorfully before surrendering and calling for help.

"NEJI!" she bellowed.

0-0

Neji was having a bit of a moral quandary. Should he or should he not use his Byakugan to watch Tenten in the shower. Not to see her naked, he lied to himself, just to see if she was okay. She could slip and hurt herself. Then he would be forced to spar with Lee. He shuddered at the thought; that was clearly unacceptable. Then he noticed the water had stopped, rendering the matter moot. He inwardly cursed himself for being so indecisive.

All was quiet until,

"NEJI!" Thinking she was in trouble he rushed over to her room and burst through the door.

"WHAT?" he demanded, his eyes scanning the room for enemy ninja.

"Help me." she pouted and thrust the ribbony-belty thing at him. Neji sighed.

"Fine." he replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"My hero…" she said sarcastically, as she batted her eyelashes at him, smirking all the while.

"Hn."

0-0

Tenten tried to hide subtly behind Neji, to no avail, as they entered the Hyuuga dining hall. Dozens of blank white eyes and even blanker expressions greeted her.

"They're all _staring _at me!" she whispered to Neji.

"Just don't make any sudden moves." Before she could show Neji what she thought of his advice, Hiashi started his introduction.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the House of Hyuuga, tonight for the first time in recent memory, we have an outsider staying among us. She has proven a good friend to our prodigy Neji, and I am sure you will make her feel most welcome as she may be with us for some time."

'What did he mean by that?' thought Tenten, frowning.

"I give you Tenten." he finished. There was no applause but neither were there any protests, which she took as a good sign.

"Um...Hi." she grinned sickly and gave a weak wave. This was going to be a long night.

0-0

"Hi." Tenten muttered to herself. "I'm such an idiot." The rest of the dinner had passed in eerie silence. She had split as soon as she thought was polite, and was now hiding herself in Hinata's room.

"It r-really wasn't t-that b-bad." reassured the most empathic Hyuuga. Tenten sent her a scathing look. Hinata flinched a little. "W-well at l-least you d-didn't t-throw up."

Tenten nearly snorted in laughter. "Did that really happen?"

"H-hanabi d-doesn't like to t-talk about it."

"Hanabi? The little ice princess?" she laughed obnoxiously again.

"S-she was only f-four." Hinata giggled softly behind her hand.

Then as fate would have it Hanabi walked into the room the very next moment.

"Hey, new fish, Neji's looking for..." she trailed off at the way the two girls were looking at her. "What?" The Weapons Mistress and the Hyuuga heiress exploded with mirth.

Hanabi regarded them coolly for a minute or two. "Freaks." she muttered, and stalked off.

* * *

**Thats another chapter done and in record time too! Well, for me anyway. I would once again like to thank my beta temarixshikimaruluva and once again ask for matchmaking ideas 'cause I've got nothin'**

**next time?**

**Who knows?**


	3. Awakenings and Aliences

**Weapon of Choice **

**Chapter the Third:**

**Awakenings and Alliances**

**Unless I've ****developed ****amnesia and am secretly Japanese, then I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

It was dawn the following morning, and the first rays of the rising sun could be seen streaming through the beige window shades. A frustrated Neji was currently pacing impatiently in front of Tenten's door, all the while moving in and out of the staggered lighting. The previous evening he had told Hanabi to inform his teammate that he needed to speak with her, but she had never showed. He would give her five more minutes, then he was going in whether she liked it or not. Four and a half minutes later he frowned, releasing a very un-Neji like sigh and rapped loudly upon the door.

"TENTEN!" he called. He flinched as a kunai speared itself through the door mere inches in front of his face. A moment later the door was flung open, showing the disheveled state of the room's occupant. Her loose hair hung down her back in a mass of wild tangled clumps. She was clad in what he suspected though couldn't prove was one of his old t-shirts. He supposed that she was wearing some other... garment... under there somewhere. He couldn't bring himself to think of them as _panties _because it was Tenten, his childhood teammate, and she could never posses such a blatantly feminine item.

"Mrphle" she, uh...said?

"Tenten?" Neji nearly blushed when squinting unintelligibly; she brought her face millimeters from his own.

"Coffee." she croaked.

'Only Tenten.' he thought, smirking inwardly. Neji turned on his heel and led her through the byzantine labyrinth that was the Hyuuga Complex, towards the kitchens. Breakfast was a far less formal affair than dinner. It was left to one's own discretion. As it was early, they had the quarters to themselves. He motioned her towards a nearby table and brewed her a cup of coffee. When he handed it to her, she clutched the mug and began to drink gingerly. She sighed in satisfaction and drowned the rest of the cup in one impressive gulp. Once she reached the bottom of the mug she blinked a few times and looked up, her glazed eyes brightening as if she was just now waking up.

"Morning Neji!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Hn." he replied, as he observed her from the stove.

"What's that?"

"Omelet."

"Make me one?" she asked hopefully.

He snorted. "Fine."

"Yaay! Thanks, Neji!"

He rolled his eyes at her childishness.

She got up out of her seat and made her way over towards him. She rose up on to the tips of her toes and looked over his shoulder at the meal he was so skillfully preparing. "What are we going to do today, Neji?"

He tensed slightly at the sudden closeness. He could feel her warm breath on his neck. "The same thing we do every day Tenten." he replied with a calmness he didn't really possess.

"Flirt subconsciously?" she said flashing him a sly smile.

Neji shot her an odd look. "No, train."

"Same thing." she said, still smirking, her cheeks flushing faintly.

0-0

"Tenten," he started as they began the long trek back to their rooms. "I wanted to talk to you about some of your...lifestyle choices."

"Huh?" She gave him a puzzled look.

"Your apartment..." he clarified.

"Was a dump." she admitted with a shrug. "Where are you going with this?" Her expression was uncharacteristically guarded. This was not a conversation she wanted to have with him.

"Do you take me for a fool? I know how much Chunin get paid."

"Oh." she mumbled. Her head hung down, as she refused to look him in the face.

"It was appalling to see you living in such a place. It's inappropriate for a ninja. What have you been wasting your money on? It's disappointing how poorly you've managed your finances…" he tailed off as he noticed the intensity with which she was glaring at him.

"Are you done?" she demanded, her voice was clipped with resentment.

"Hn…?" He was taken aback. He rarely saw her regard someone with such contempt, and never before had he been the victim of such a glower.

"Are you done being a condescending ass?" Her hands trembled. She looked as though she was about to hit him, but managed to restrain herself with great effort. "Have you _ever_, in your entire life, had to pay for your own gear? Do you have _any_ idea how much a _good _kunai costs? Not those cheap mass-produced knockoffs that you and Lee use, but a _really _good one?" She paused and reached back into her nightclothes, producing a kunai from their depths. "Like this." She held it up to him, caressing it between her fingers in a way that Neji found disturbing yet arousing. "This is hand forged Damascus steel, made by a master craftsman, _me_." She held the blade up to his cheek, pressing it softly against his cheek, teasing the sensitive skin. "Feel how sharp the edge is? You could shave a gnat with this." She took one of his hands in her own and placed the weapon within them. "Hold it." she ordered. Her hand lingered, tingling the skin where they touched. She moved around so her body was pressed against his back, still cradling his hands in hers. She leaned into him, using his body for support as she went up on her toes again and bent towards the crevice of his neck. "Feel how perfectly balanced it is." she whispered into his ear. A fierce shiver snaked down his spine. She then took two careful steps back and smacked him in the back of the head.

Hard.

"Ow." he winced, rubbing where she had hit him, giving her a look of disbelief.

"As a Weapons Mistress, my life depends on the quality of my weapons. Anything less than the best could get me killed." She scowled. "And remember Neji that not everybody is lucky enough to have a big fancy clan at their back." she sniffed derisivly and snatched back her kunai. "Now wait here while I change." And with that she went into her room, leaving Neji standing there alone, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, pondering over what just happened.

0-0

That afternoon they departed the compound for their daily training session. As always they started with dynamic stretches. Tenten was doing ballet stances, moving with awe-inspiring fluidity. She was absurdly flexible, even for a kunoichi. Neji watched her undetectably, using his Byakugan. Watching his female teammate stretch one of his secret guilty pleasures, like the Icha-Icha novels that were hidden beneath his floorboards. He briefly wondered if he could train his Byakugan to see through clothes.

"You ready to start?" she asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. He nodded and rose to his feet, assuming his jyuken stance. Tenten made her way over to him, stopping a safe distance away. Never taking her eyes off of him she summoned a double bladed Viking war ax and got into her own stance.

Neji raised an eyebrow at the oversized weapon. "Can you even lift that?"

She scowled at him, and whipped the ax around her head several times to answer his question.

An ax is not a subtle weapon, and was rarely appropriate for a ninja. It was neither elegant nor precise though it did have in it's favor overwhelming power. When someone is hit with an ax it tends to be something of a life altering experience, whether the result is an agonizing and bloody death or simply having to adjust to the nickname 'lefty' tends to be a matter of aim. These thoughts shot through Neji's head as he saw his teammate charge at him, swinging ruthlessly. He expertly sidestepped, dodging her fierce attack, before only narrowly evading another swipe aimed at his head.

He withheld the urge to sigh. She must still be mad at him.

It was unusual for her to be so aggressive this early in the match. Normally she would hang back, keeping out of range of his jyuken and snipe at him from a distance in order to wear down his defenses.

He ducked under another swipe and struck upward at the weapon's wooden handle, severing it, sending the blade whirring off into the woods, where it very nearly bisected a passing squirrel. Without missing a beat she caught him off guard and connected a grazing blow to his shoulder with the splintered remains of the ax handle, before leaping backwards, and firing off a few kunai to give her the time to regroup. She summoned a katana and short sword for either hand before charging back into the fray.

Neji drew two of his own kunai, blocking each of her slashes. The field rang with the sound of clashing steel as the two ninja exchanged blows.

The spar drew on. The dance between the two teammates became heated, each refusing to give the other an inch. Soon their breathing was becoming labored. Neji knew he was in trouble. The wound in his shoulder was limiting his movements, and as Tenten's attacks became more and more vicious he was given no time to reassemble his strategy. Her anger was making her better, and her speed and precision were remarkable. He grimaced. He knew that he could finish this quickly if he used his bloodline ability but he shouldn't have to. He couldn't deny that she was improving but she still wasn't enough to challenge him. With a low growl he finally gave in, he would use his jyuken. He dropped his weapons and streamed his hands with chakra. With her next strike, he caught the blade of the katana within his hands, and torqued it out of hers. She swore at him and went to stab at him with her other blade. He sidestepped her and grabbed her wrist, twisting it behind her back, forcing her to drop the weapon. He smirked slightly as she slew together some more choice words. He stuck out his leg, tripping her forward. She fell, hitting the ground hard on her stomach with Neji tightly on her back, his weight knocking the wind out of her.

Before she had the chance to recover, he grabbed her other wrist and forced it behind her back alongside the other. Neji pinned her down with his weight as he straddled her hips. He managed to restrain her with great difficulty as she struggled violently beneath him. He tried to tame the pleasurable sensations that were surging through his lower regions. He took both her wrists in one hand and placed the newly freed palm against the back of her head, forcing her into submission.

"Yield!" he commanded. She redoubled her efforts, grinding her firm backside into his groin. Neji felt ashamed of himself for relishing in the feeling of her struggling form beneath him. If he didn't know better he would think she was doing it on purpose. He paused, did he know better?

"Tenten, what are you doing?"

She growled back at him in anger. "I'M TRYING TO GET YOU OFF!!!"

Neji's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Tenten felt her face blush crimson in embarrassment. "...of me." she added weakly.

A thick awkward silence fell between them, only heavy breathing, and the far-off sounds of wildlife could be heard.

"Um, Neji..."

"Break?" he suggested.

"Please."

Neji nodded. He reluctantly got up, immediately missing the feeling of closeness.

She slowly rose to her feet, her eyes cast downward, and her face was still red as a tomato. "Um, I'll just be..." she nodded towards a small grouping of cherry trees on the opposite side of the grounds. "Over there…cooling down….for a while."

"Hn."

0-0

Hinata was stressing again. Well, not 'again' exactly since she had never stopped from the previous day, though she had changed locations. The white eyed girl had left the Hyuuga compound and made her way downtown to the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. She had started eating her lunch there while Naruto was away on his missions and lengthy training expeditions. She found the place comforting, always reminding her of him. Often she came when feeling strained and afterwards she always felt better.

"Miso ramen, please." she ordered in her soft voice, flashing Teuchi and Ayame with a kind hearted smile. She sighed in contentment, finally feeling herself calm slightly. So occupied was she with her thoughts that she never noticed someone sitting down in the stool next to her.

"Hey Ayame! I'll have my usual." She nearly jumped out of her seat. She knew that voice. Her breath catching in the back of her throat as she saw who it was.

"N-n-naruto?" she stammered.

"Oi, Hinata!" greeted the blond enthusiastically "I didn't know you liked ramen!"

"Oh yeah, she does," Interrupted the waitress playfully. "She's in here almost as much as you are, I'm surprised you hadn't noticed." Hinata blushed at the unexpected recognition.

Naruto eyed Hinata skeptically for a moment and then, as if a light had been switched on, he suddenly viewed her in an entirely new way.

How had he missed this before?

Hinata LIKED ramen!

He looked again.

And, damn, she was HOT!

After a few seconds he got a hold of himself and realized he was gawking, he should probably say something.

"You look hot!" Okay, something other than that.

Hinata looked at him strangely as if she had imagined the words that had just erupted from his mouth.

"Um, well...'cuz, 'cuz of your jacket." He breathed a sigh of relief. 'Nice save' he congratulated himself not noticing the girl's slight frown of disappointment. He should probably try to talk to her. "So, anything new with you?"

Hinata lowered her eyes to the floor and twiddled her fingers. "I-I have this assignment f-from m-my f-f-father."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. He knew full well of the pale eyed ninja's strained relationship with her family, her father in particular. "Oh yeah, what's the old man got you doing now?"

"Sorry-y, I-I'm not sure if I should say. I-t's a family m-matter."

"Oh, alright." He frowned, what was that damned man asking her to do? He supposed that he could probe it out of her later. He scowled, he better not be trying to get her to marry Neji again. He racked his brain for another topic.

"So, how's Tenten settling in? That was pretty slick of Neji, getting his girlfriend to move in with him. Ha ha. Never knew he had it in him. So are they keeping everybody awake?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Hinata blushed scarlet. "Um, well…they're n-not a-actually together like that."

"What?! You're kiddin', right?" He paused in thought. "Hinata, is Neji gay?"

She looked up in shock, why did people keep asking her that? "N-no."

"Then what's wrong with him? Any idiot can tell that she's totally in love with the guy!" he declared.

"Um..." she mumbled. She wondered if the universe really did run on irony.

"Hinata?"

"Y-y-yes?"

Naruto stood up suddenly, his eyes burning with determination. He grasped Hinata about her torso and pulled her towards him so they were shoulder to shoulder.

"Eeep!"

"It's our duty as their friends to get them together! Believe it!!"

"Okay one miso ramen for the lady and one of everything for Naruto." interrupted Ayame.

"Right after Lunch!"

* * *

**A/N: nothing to say this month except thanx to my betas clancrusher and temarixshikimaruluva**

**Next time.**

___Neji wondered how he had gotten into this situation. He was following his ____increasingly _female ___teammate_._They were currently scouring Konoha's ____shopping district, _using up valuable training time. ___After their embarrassing exchange Tenten had spent a good twenty minutes hiding in the underbrush, before emerging from her embarrassment, full of wrath, demanding that he replace her battle ax. He reluctantly agreed, he had broken it after all, it was only fair._

"_Ooo, Neji, look at the new crossbows!" _

_The only problem was that Tenten kept getting distracted._

"Hey _Neji, let me shoot an apple off your head."_


	4. Hyuuga Hot Tub

**Weapon of choice**

**Chapter the Forth**

**"Hyuuga Hot Tub"**

**I don't own Ranma-, er, Slayers, er, Full Metal alchem-er Naruto! I don't own Naruto. Yeah...**

* * *

Neji wondered how he got into this situation. Here he was wasting valuable training time following his increasingly _female_ teammate around Konoha's shopping district. After a lengthy twenty minutes of hiding in the underbrush, Tenten had emerged from her embarrassment full of wrath and demanding that he replace her battle ax. He had reluctantly agreed, it was only fair, as he had broken it. That had been an hour ago, but now the problem was...

"Oooo, Neji, come look at these new crossbows!"

...Tenten kept getting distracted. He resisted the urge to sigh.

"Hey, Neji; Let me shoot an apple off your head."

He shot her a withering glare, which had absolutely no effect on her whatsoever

"No?" She asked with convincing innocence.

"Tenten..."

"Fine then." she pouted. "Just pay for my stuff and I'll meet you outside." She left the store in a huff.

Neji made his way to the register to pay for her things, in addition to the ax, which he noted looked far more expensive than the one he had broken, she had also picked up a half dozen packets of exploding tags, billets of various metals, and the latest issue of _Weapons Weekly_. He quickly paid for the items and asked for them to be delivered to the Hyuuga Compound.

Upon exiting the store he was greeted by a disturbing sight. Tenten was talking animatedly to the _Inuzuka._

Neji scowled and his hands clenched in irritation. He didn't like other guys talking to Tenten, or looking at her, or being within a hundred meters of her.

As he approached them the unthinkable occurred. Tenten put her arms around the doggy bastard and kissed him on the cheek.

Neji's eyes widened in shock before narrowing in anger. Tenten waved at Kiba as he walked away.

"What was that about?" he asked brusquely, trying to contain his rage.

"Nothing important." she replied, with an offhanded wave of the hand.

Neji's scowl deepened. "I just remembered something I have to do. Meet me back at the training grounds in a few minutes."

Before she could answer Neji was gone.

0-0

Kiba Inuzuka was having a good day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and he had just gotten a kiss from a pretty girl. '_That Tenten is kind of hot._' It was a shame she was so hung up on that jerk Neji. Kiba was about eighty percent certain that the glossy haired Hyuuga was gay, or possibly asexual. Suddenly, as if it were in response to his thoughts, he felt the approach of a surging killing intent.

"Hakke Rokujuu Yonshou!"

Kiba's day took a sharp turn south.

0-0

"Ow." winced Tenten as she limped through the maze like corridors of the Hyuuga Compound.

"Ow." For some reason, Neji had returned to the training ground in a foul mood.

"Ow." She could tell by the way he made her eat dirt for the rest of the day.

"Ow. Stupid bipolar Hyuuga." She stopped limping and looked around. None of this looked familiar. Damn it, she was lost. She had been so involved in cursing Neji that she hadn't been paying attention to where she was going. She gazed down the long beige hallway. Just then one of the identical white doors at her side slid open and revealed the Hyuuga heiress.

"Hinata?"

The younger girl was clad in a knee length white yukata.

"Tenten?" Hinata took in the older girl's torn clothes and pained posture. "What happened?" she asked in a soft, concerned voice.

Tenten sighed, rolling her eyes melodramatically. "Neji."

Hinata's expression grew alarmed.

Tenten jumped back, and shook her hands in front of herself in a placating gesture. "Training!" she emphasized. "He was just a little rough today. That's all." She nervously rubbed the back of her neck and tried to change the subject. "So, this is the Main House, huh?"

"No," replied Hinata, "This is the bath." She pointed to the sign that hung above her head.

"Oh." A bath sounded like a pretty good idea. The hot water would definitely soothe her aching muscles. "Is there anybody in there?"

Hinata was going to answer yes since Neji was, but something Naruto had said to her earlier flashed through her mind. '_Try to get them to see each other naked._' She nearly blushed in memory. Speaking of which, where was Naruto, he said he'd come over today.

Hinata flashed Tenten a smile. "N-n-no, g-go r-right a-ahead."

0-0

Neji sighed and sank deeper into the warm water but was unable to completely forget his troubles. '_Damn Inuzuka'_ he thought. Didn't Kiba know Tenten was his? His, er, teammate, yea, thats all, nothing else. Anyway, why should he even care who Tenten kissed.

Neji grunted and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. It wasn't like they were dating or anything. Tenten didn't have '_Property of Neji Hyuuga_' tattooed on her ass. '_Not yet anyway_.' He thought

His face softened. Maybe he had been a bit hard on her after that _event_. He tried to think of a way to apologize without actually apologizing. After a few minutes he heard someone entering the bathhouse. He frowned. What fool dared to interrupt his special Neji-time? He sat up and prepared to glare the intruder into oblivion. It goes without saying that he was caught off guard when a nude goddess walked...

"Ow."

...Er, limped into the room. As she paused at the top of the steps leading down to the steaming pool, he couldn't tear his eyes away. His gaze traveled down her long, wavy brown locks to her tone shoulders, lingered a bit over her perky chest before continuing down, to her defined abdominals and slender waist, devouring her long, lean legs before making the return journey to the mysterious goddess' face. She extended a toe to test the temperature of the water, satisfied she descended the steps and settled into the water with a slow hiss.

It was only then that she noticed his presence. She quickly crossed her arms over her chest and ducked up to her shoulders in the water. She goggled at him.

Neji was impressed, He'd never seen proper goggling before.

"NEJI??!!" she exclaimed in a startled gasp.

How did she know his name? Then something clicked together and he recognized her.

"Tenten?"

The two ninja stared at each other.

Tenten stared at Neji.

Neji stared at Tenten.

Tumbleweeds blew through the background. (it's a visual gag, work with me.)

'_Awkward,_' they both thought simultaneously.

Finally Tenten broke the silence. "Neji...," she said in a calm and controlled voice. "What exactly are you doing in the _**WOMEN'S BATH?!?!?**_"

Neji looked at her with a slightly glazed expression. "It's unisex."

_'Hinata!'_ she thought accusingly.

0-0

Hinata sneezed.

0-0

"Why do the Hyuuga's have a unisex bath?!?"

"I'm not sure." answered Neji. "Heating costs?" He'd never really thought about it before and to be fair right at this moment he couldn't care less. This more than made up for all the times he had walked in on one of the elders. He suppressed a shudder; some things just couldn't be un-seen.

"Is it a problem?" he smirked coolly, seemingly completely nonchalant.

_'Stupid smug bastard,'_ she thought "N-no." she lied. Tenten slowly began to uncover herself and tried to relax. It didn't really work. Maybe she should just leave. Yes, that would probably be for the best. Then she saw Neji, all broad shoulders and rippling muscles and she realized that this was a two-way street. He reached over to grab his shampoo, the light reflecting off his wet skin in that special way that makes it go "_ting_".

_'He has such nice hair'_ she thought offhandedly '_I wonder what kind of shampoo he uses._' she had always admired his hair, so smooth and silky looking. She wondered idly what it would be like to run her fingers through it.

"Neji, can I wash your hair?" She heard a familiar voice ask. Startled, she looked around for the speaker before realizing it was her. She prepared to laugh it off and pretend she was joking, but was completely taken off guard by his answer.

"Okay."

"Wha?"

He shrugged his shoulders, rippling the water slightly, and repeated. "Okay."

She pinched herself. Ow, so this wasn't a dream. "O-okay." She made her way over to his nude form. '_Don'tfreakoutDon'tfreakoutDon'tfreakout_' she recited in her head.

Her body, ignoring the orders of her brain, trembled a little in anticipation. He handed her the shampoo bottle, holding it just out of her reach, forcing her to come even closer to him. She suppressed a shiver as he (accidentally?) brushed against her. She looked up at him, her chest still obscured by the surface of the water.

Was he teasing her? She noticed his barely concealed smirk. '_Well, two can play at that game._' she thought while trying to remember half ignored lessons in seduction from the academy. He kept staring down at her as if expecting something. It was easy to tell he was waiting for her to stand up and flash him again. Uh-uh, think again.

"Turn around, Neji."

He complied reluctantly, not really sure of the rules of this new game they were playing.

Tenten began to work the shampoo into his hair She made small talk and stood painfully close, teasing him, staying just out of reach as her warm breath caressed his neck

"You were kind of rough today Neji." she whispered in his ear, tantalizingly near. "I'm soooo sore." she stops for a moment and rinses his hair. "Not just my back, but my legs too...I think you owe me a massage."

Neji quietly decided that this was officially the best day ever.

After soaping and rinsing his hair for a second time she rose from the water and made her way over to the tiled area in the front of the bathhouse. He turned and watched as she seductively ascended the steps and and snatched her towel from where it lay and wrapped it around herself.

"Well?" she sent Neji a challenging look.

He resisted the urge to bolt across the room at top speed. Rather he took his time, giving her a good long look at his unclothed form.

Tenten gulped, taking it in and perhaps losing some of her nerve. She quickly shoved that feeling back down and lay down of the floor pillowing her head on her forearms.

Neji approached cautiously, pausing briefly to grab a towel and wrap it around his waist.

Tenten let loose a faint gasp as Neji grasped her foot and tested its range of motion, It seemed unharmed. He moved to the other foot.

"Uh!" she grunted.

"Does that hurt?"

"Not really, it's just a little sore."

"Hn." Neji activated his Byakugan. He opened a few tenketsu to increase chakra flow to the affected area. Now with the therapeutic portion over Neji could proceed with the fun part, which he thought was also therapeutic, but in a different, more pleasing way . He wanted to try something new.

In his near obsession to master all forms of jyuken he had come across an ancient scroll detailing a chakra massage technique. He had memorized it as a matter of course but until now he had not had the opportunity to try it. Tenten would be an excellent test subject. After being jyukened by Neji more than anyone still alive he knew her chakra almost better than his own.

Tenten gasped in pain as Neji kneaded his way up her leg with his chakra charged hands.

At feeling her tense beneath him, Neji frowned and attempted to adjust what he was doing. She moaned as the pain she was feeling became mixed with pleasure. Neji smirked. He decided he liked that noise. As he continued moving up her athletic legs she made a sort of purring noise. Neji liked that one too.

After a bit of trial and error he found he was able to elicit all sorts of delightful noises. He amused himself for some time, playing his teammate's body like a sort of twisted ninja xylophone. Then suddenly after a particularly spirited moan was followed by a low whimper Neji decided that _**no one**_ but _**him**_ should ever hear this kunoichi make those kinds of noises ever again.

0-0

Tenten was in heaven. Whatever Neji was doing was like being dipped in liquid bliss. It felt gooood! She just floated along in a euphoric daze until she eventually became aware of some mysterious object poking her in the back. She rose up on her arms and turned toward her teammate.

"Neji, what's that-MMPH!" Her trusted friend and comrade Neji was trying to EAT HER!?! She fought valiantly for several seconds to escape the clutches of this recently revealed cannibal when it dawned on her that she was not being eaten but in fact, was being kissed, rather forcefully, by Neji. With this startling revelation and she in her dazed state instinctively started kissing back. Encouraged by this he broke the kiss, grasped her shoulder and roughly flipped her over so they were facing one another before devouring her lips, leaving a scorching sensation that seared down her spine and made her toes curl.

"OH MY GOD!!!!" screamed a voice. Both ninja turned toward the entrance to behold Hiashi and Hanabi.

Hiashi was gazing at them with a smug look and Hanabi had her hands in front of her eyes, the younger of the two fled to the safety of the compound, while the clan head regarded them with amused eyes.

Hiashi smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"MY EYES, THEY BURN!!!" screeched Hanabi as she tore through the bathhouse doors.

Hiashi turned regaly and exited the room.

The two ninja stared blankly at the vacated entrance. After a long uncomfortable silence Tenten spoke.

"Um, Neji?"

"Yes?"

"Could you get off of me?"

_No_, he thought. but acceeded to her request.

"Uh, um, well-" she dithered. "SorryNejigottagobye." she spasmed and fled with impressive speed.

Neji sighed.

* * *

**(Yay! They kissed. The question is "Now what?" I'm kind of leaning toward them being really embarrassed and pretending like it didn't happen, but I'm certainly open to suggestions**

**and as allways I thank my beta Temarixshikimaruluva no preview this time as I have yet to write anything, so be sure to leave a review, they increase output by twenty percent!**


	5. Advice

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter the Fifth**

**Advice**

Alright, alright, I admit it, I don't own naruto.

Now give me back my pants.

* * *

Neji sighed and leaned back on his haunches.

He still wasn't sure what happened. He had been taking a bath, and Tenten walked in naked. Everything after that was fuzzy. As far as he could recall, he had lost control of himself and kissed her. Then they had been interrupted by his uncle and younger cousin before Tenten ran away.

He sighed again and stood up.

He had blown it. He came on too strong, now Tenten was probably so disgusted that she would never want to see him again. He paused a few moments to curse fate and his damned hormones, if his relatives hadn't interrupted them who knew how far he would have gone.

His self-loathing was disturbed by a timid voice.

"Um...Neji?"

It was her! Tenten stood in the entrance of the bathhouse wearing a simple white yukata from the dressing area. Her face was red with embarrassment and her gaze was locked down on to the hardwood flooring.

"Yes?" he answered, trying to keep the melancholy out of his voice.

"I don't know how to get to my room."

He nodded and escorted her back through the winding corridors of the complex to their rooms. It was probably the second most uncomfortable silence of his life, the first being the half hour after Gai had explained to his team where babies came from. When they reached their destination Neji spoke,

"Tenten I-"

"Don't Neji," she interrupted "I'm not upset. It's just...so... sudden I -I just need some time to think. Okay?" And with that she disappeared into her room.

_Well_, he thought, _at least it wasn't a no._

0-0

Tenten sagged against the closed door. What was wrong with her? She should be ecstatic. Neji, her crush since, like, forever had kissed her, hell, calling it just a kiss was like saying Sasuke was a_ little_ self absorbed; it was a completely inadequate description. By all rights, she should be doing cartwheels up and down the staid halls of Hyuuga manor, so why did she feel so confused, and she admitted reluctantly, a little scared?

She took a deep breath and tried to recall where the maids put her clothes. Apparently they had snuck in her room while she was out with Neji and had willfully, with malicious intent _organized her belongings!_

Stupid maids. She would have to remember to set some traps for them.

Eventually she located her clothes and got dressed. Once again clad in her familiar maroon pants and loose fitting white top she took a deep breath. She felt a little better.

What she needed was some advice. Some FEMALE advice. She immediately discounted most of the kunoichi in her group; they were about as clueless as she was. She pursed her lips together in thought and groaned. She supposed she should go see Anko-sempai.

0-0

Tenten had an odd relationship with Konoha's foremost fishnet enthusiast. When she had been fourteen and in the throws of puberty, Gai, in his infinite wisdom, had decided that she needed a tutor, someone to teach her what he referred to cryptically as "kunoichi stuff" knowledge that he, as an ignorant male (not unlike your humble author), was not privy to. Initially she had been really pumped; finally she would get some individual attention. Perhaps from her idol, the great Tsunade, or at least her student Shizune.

To be fair to Gai, he did get her the student of a sannin, just not the one she wanted. It was the crazy, scary lady from the Chunin Exams Anko Mitarashi.

She had the worst luck with sensei..

After she had gotten over her initial disappointment she realized Anko was a lot like Gai, flamboyantly unconventional and easily misunderstood. She learned a lot from Anko, although outside of ninja stuff what she learned was mostly by negative example, like 'never try to out drink someone with three times your own body mass' or 'there's a reason no one wears fishnet kimonos' or even 'there _is_ such a thing as too much dango'

She arrived at Anko's apartment in the Jounin dorms in the early evening, Hopefully she was home. She knocked on the door and it was answered by a masked man.

"Yo."

"Kakashi-sensei?"

The gray haired Johnin paused thoughtfully before answering. "Um... Gai's kunoichi, um, Tonton?"

"_Tenten_." she replied through gritted teeth. Stupid hokage's pig...

"Hey, Kakashi, is that Gai?" Called a feminine voice from somewhere in the back ground.

Kakashi turned towards it and replied "No, it's-" Before he could finish he was abruptly shoved to the side by an impatient Mitarashi.

Tenten got an unobstructed view of what she was wearing, if that was the right word. The alleged garment, a few strategically placed scraps of some sort of gauzy black material, did nothing to conceal, but rather enhanced her nudity, somehow giving the impression of being more naked than if she hadn't been wearing anything at all.

"Hey, kid." she greeted shamelessly. "What's up? You finally decide to jump that Hyuuga boy?"

Tenten's eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped open.

"What?! No! Phhtt, that's totally ridicul-..."

"So he jumped you then?"

"Yes! No! Dammit!" She slumped forward with her face in her hands. "How did you know?!?"

"What?! Really?" she exclained in shock. "I was just kidding." Quickly she turned back to Kakashi and swatted him hard on the shoulder, causing the one-eyed ninja to wince. "HA! I told you he wasn't gay!! Pay up!"(That's probably going to be the last gay joke, that horse has long since been beaten to death)

0-0

Fifteen minutes later she had explained to Anko, and unfortunately Kakashi, her situation.

"So let me see if I've got this straight," she mused, "He was giving you a naked massage and then 'suddenly' kissed you?" Anko's face took on a dubious expression. "And you're surprised?"

"Um..." It sounded kind of stupid when you said it out loud like that.. "...kind of." she answered tentatively, looking down at her fingers intertwined in her lap while she bit her lip.

Anko face palmed. With her head still in her hand, she spoke,

"Well, at least you didn't run away..."

"Um..."

Anko's eyes ran over at Tenten through her fingers. "You ran away!"

"Only a little," Anko appeared unconvinced. "I came right back!" she defended herself.

Anko lifted her head out of her hands. "Well, I guess that's something. What I think your problem is that you finally noticed that Neji's a guy."

"Huh?"

"Before, you saw him as safe because he didn't seem interested, now that you _know_ he's a guy you're having doubts." Anko explained patiently.

"Well, what do I do?"

"Sneak into his room tonight and give yourself to him." interrupted Kakashi.

Tenten looked aghast.

Anko assumed a thoughtful expression. "That's not a bad idea..."

"What!?!?"

"Well think about it. You're both ninja, death is only a mission away, so carpe that diem girl!"

"But-"

"But me no buts Kohai, this is what you're gonna do, Kakashi, come here, see, first you-"

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!"

_Oh thank god!_ thought Tenten, however her releif was short lived.

Gai took a declarative pose and started to, well, declare,

"AH, Kakashi, my eternal rival, tonight I shall prove that hard work can overcome genius, when, with the assistance of the lovley Anko, I will defeat you in the manly and amourous art of..." He finally noticed his colleague's frantic 'for the love of god, Stop!' gestures and his gaze fell upon his wide eyed student.

"...Basket weaveing." he finished, lamely.

Fourtunately, or rather unfortunately Tenten saw through his clever ruse.

"So you two....and...with her? FOR A CONTEST!!?"

The two men looked contrite.

"YEAH!" agreed Anko, with a huge grin and thumbs up.

Tenten held her head in her hands and silently left the apartment._ And these are supossed to be my role models. s_he thought as she walked back to the Hyuuga compound there was a crack of thunder and the sky opened up in a deluge of rain.

"Wonderful." she mumbled.

* * *

**not much to say this time. except to thank my beta temarixshikimaruluva, **

**remember,**

**reviews good, fire bad.**


	6. Meloncholy of Tenten Nolastname

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter, the Sixth**

**The Melancholy of Tenten No-Last-Name**

**Naruto? Seriously? No.**

* * *

Hinata woke with an unfamiliar feeling of warmth. She sighed and snuggled into her oddly firm pillow. She didn't want to get up, she wanted to stay here in this comfortable place and it's strangely soothing smell of Ramen.

Wait, Ramen?

She shot upright and looked around franticly. This was Naruto's apartment. _Okay, don't panic_, she thought. _What happened last night?_

Suddenly she remembered. He had taken her to Ichiraku Ramen to discuss their progress on setting up Tenten and her cousin. It started pouring and they had been soaked instantly. Together, they had gone to his apartment to dry off. It had been like a scene from one of those books Neji was hiding under his floorboards. She would put them back when she was done with them.

"XNARK," snored her pillow, startling her.

"N-N-Naruto?" she squeaked and her eyes drifted down to the shirtless blond she had been using as bedding. Her eyes briefly widened before she fainted.

0-0

Neji suppressed a yawn, he had not slept well. His dreams had been filled with images of Tenten. Tenten in her underwear, Tenten in _his _underwear, Tenten in nothing at all, and in one particularly confounding vision, Tenten dressed as a fireman.

He doubted he would see her this morning. It was her day off. He didn't see why she needed one. He didn't. He shrugged inwardly. Normally he would spar with Hinata, working to perfect her unorthodox 'girlie' jyuken, but today she was late, very late. Perhaps he should try and find her; it was supposed to be his job to protect the heir after all. She was probably stalking Naruto again. In his opinion she had an unhealthy fixation on the blond ninja.

He frowned. For some reason that made him think of Tenten. He was NOT obsessed with his teammate. He just liked to know where she was and what she was doing at every minute of the day. There was nothing wrong with that.

As he walked towards Naruto's apartment his mind started to wander back to his favorite topic. No, not Fate: Tenten. Maybe he was going about this all wrong. Instead of forcing himself on her in the bath, perhaps he should ask her to go with him on some sort of outing. Yes, that sounded reasonable. Why hadn't he thought of that before? He should 'woo' her, in a dignified Hyuuga fashion of course. Making up his mind with a curt nod, he continued on to his destination.

0-0

Hinata was awakened for a second time by an insistent knocking at the door. She snapped upwards and her Byakugan actively scanned for threats.

She found one.

Neji was at the door.

0-0

Tenten smiled wickedly in her sleep.

0-0

"H-H-H-hello, N-N-Neji," she stuttered at her cousin.

He shot her an irritated glare. "You're late." He paused. "Get dressed," he said as if he had just noticed.

"Huh?" She had been expecting more of a reaction "But..."

"What you do with... or to, Naruto is your own business and frankly, I'd rather not know, I just hope you remembered to take 'precautions'.

Hinata turned beet red. "N-N-Nothing h-h-happened!" she protested.

"Hn," he responded, clearly skeptical.

"R-R-Really!"

"Hn. Get dressed."

Hinata worried at the hem of her shirt. "O-O-Okay." She lowered her eyes and turned towards the bathroom where she had left her clothes to dry.

Neji eyed the rooms remaining occupant suspiciously

"XNARK."

He shook his head, _idiot._

0-0

Tenten was eating cereal, that being the limit of her culinary abilities, and she soon found herself twirling a spoon around her breakfast bowl. Her thoughts, though less soggy than her Wheaties, were no less jumbled. What was Neji's deal? Did he care about her or was she just at the right place at the right time when his hormones finally kicked in?

She chewed pensively. Neji didn't seem like a 'hit it and quit it' kind of guy, and now that she came to think about it, she didn't think he'd ever looked at another girl. Before Neji kissed…or assaulted: kiss-ulted, her yesterday he had hardly even acknowledged her as a female. Normally she could read him easily but his recent actions had caught her off guard. She thought back to the previous day. At the time she had been surprised, even though they were both naked, and he was giving her a _really good_ massage. It sounded incredibly shortsighted now, but at the time...

She blushed. Maybe Anko was right and she just needed to get over herself and make a move. She needed to do _something_ to relieve the tension. She'd been avoiding Neji for a day now and sooner or later she would have to deal with it.

She sighed and continued to wrestle with her emotions.

0-0

Neji was looking for Tenten. He was mildly ashamed of himself. Logically he should give her some space, let her come to him. That would definitely be the more dignified course of action, unfortunately he felt compelled to seek her out.

He frowned. Surely he had better things to do with his time. Like train or...that was it really. Maybe he should get a hobby. He reminded himself to think about it later, maybe he would ask Tenten when he found her. She wasn't in her room so making an educated guess, he headed to the kitchen.

He found her thoughtlessly spooning cereal into her mouth with a far-off expression.

"Ahem."

Startled, she jumped up off her seat and whirled in his direction with a knife in hand. He noted that it was the blade he had given her and smiled smugly to himself.

"Tenten," he greeted once she had recovered herself.

"N-Neji?" she replied.

He frowned at the stutter, it was unlike her.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?"

Tenten blinked in surprise and lowered her eyes to the floor. "Not really..." she mumbled into her chest.

For a moment Neji looked puzzled. Tenten was never demure. It was one of the things he liked about her. He quickly shrugged it off. He had been planning this for at least the last two hours, and had tried to think of a way to ask her out without actually saying it.

"Since you keep getting lost I thought it would be a good idea to show you around the complex."

Tenten's eyes opened wide in surprise and for the first time since he kissed her she looked directly at him.

"Y-You mean l-like a date?"

Neji knew he wasn't blushing but felt like he should be. Tenten could be annoyingly perceptive at times.

"Yes," he admitted.

"O-Okay." Tenten did that demure 'look at the ground' thing again and got up to put her dirty dishes in the sink. As she was walking back, Neji suddenly remembered something he had seen Asuma doing, and he offered Tenten his crooked arm. She stared at him for a moment. At almost the exact point Neji began to feel awkward, Tenten smiled up at him and entwined her arm into his. Neji tried to curb the warm sensation that came with such close contact, and failed.

They walked together for awhile.

"Neji?"

"Hn?"

"Did you just sniff my hair?" she asked with a light blush.

"...No," he lied.

* * *

**Kind of short I know but I had a lot of trouble with this chapter I had to completely redo it. At one point there was some business with a cat that was just _embarrassing._**

**Anyway, the blame for how long this took to get done should be placed squarely where it belongs:**

**Evil Canadian game developer Bioware, stupid Dragon Age, stupid elves...**

**and as always thanks to my beta temarixshikamaruluva**


	7. Random Smut

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter the Seventh:**

**Random Smut**

**Everyone should be very glad that I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

As they proceeded through one of the many gardens scattered around the Hyuuga complex. Tenten couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched from one of the rooftops behind her. As a ninja, she had learned not to trivialize such feelings.

"Neji..."

He nodded and silently indicated to ignore the disturbance.

Tenten peeked around her shoulder and smirked when she saw a glimpse or Naruto's orange blazer poking out from behind a bit of architectural froofery . _Might as well give him something to watch then_, she thought wickedly. She grabbed Neji's shoulder and spun him towards her. She pressed herself up against him. Her inner thigh moved against him, and she proceeded to stick her tongue down his throat. After a brief moment's hesitation, Neji pressed her up against a convenient tree and hoisted her up by her thighs. In response, she wrapped her legs around his waist and started to unbutton his robes.

"Tenten..." he moaned.

She responded with a low purr.

"Tenten," he repeated flatly, snapping his fingers at her

She blinked and noticed that he was regarding her with an odd expression from a few feet away.

"Um..." she dithered, rubbing the back of her neck and blushing. "Sorry, got lost for a bit there, heh heh. What were you saying?"

"Hn," he grunted, but there a small smug smirk that he was unable to hide.

0-0

After walking for a while down identical long white corridors with Neji occasionally pointing out various items of interest Tenten's attention started to wander, it fell upon a strange weathered looking door.

"Hey, Neji." She gently nudged him and pointed towards the area of interest**.** "What's that?"

Neji frowned**.** "A door."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "I mean, what's behind the door?"

"I don't know." he admitted.

Tenten smiled impishly, raising an eyebrow. "We should definitely check it out then."

"Hn**,**" he agreed.

The door slid open to reveal a dilapidated workshop and Tenten gasped**. **The ground was lined with dirty wood chips that had a foul scent of mold, and the wood walls were decaying under years of neglect. Welding equipment that predated their birth was rusted with disuse and piles of dull weapons lay scatted around the room beneath a labyrinth of dust and cobwebs. As Neji turned up his nose and scowled in disgust, Tenten began bouncing with glee.

"Eeeeeeeeeee!" she squealed, causing Neji's eyes to widen slightly.

She giggled and dashed to and fro, examining various tools and weapons that Neji couldn't name. By the time Neji was considering leaving after being ignored for several minutes, Tenten finally stopped and turned towards him, beaming

"Neji, this is awesome! Why didn't you tell me you had a forge?"

"I've never seen this room before."

Tenten looked at the room again. "When was the last time anyone was in here?"

Neji shrugged.

0-0

"Alcohol!" shouted Naruto.

"W-what?" gasped Hinata.

"That's how we'll get Tenten and your cousin together!"

Hinata looked confused.

"It's something I learned when I was training with Ero-sensei. Alcohol makes people express their true feelings."

Hinata looked doubtful. "Um...Naruto..."

"No, really, it's true. I'll show you!"

He took hold of her hand and led her to a conveniently located drinking establishment.

"Two of the strongest drinks you have**,**" he ordered.

Unfortunately for the duo, they had stumbled upon Hiro's, Konoha's most infamous purveyor of adult beverages. This reputation was established due to the serving of 'Hiro's Hammer', a mysterious home brew of dubious origins. When asked what went into this infamous beverage, the owner would mumble something about 'mostly apples' and then start giggling uncontrollably It had been described by no less than the Hokage herself as "Like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon, wrapped around a large gold brick."

The pair sat at the bar and received their orders, and Hinata eyed her drink dubiously.

"Well, bottoms up!" exclaimed Naruto before he swallowed his drink in one gulp.

Hinata took a tentative sip. "Oh! It's good," she commented before having another sip and shuffled closer to Naruto.

0-Three Drinks Later-0

"Y'know 'Nata, I n'vr not'ced b'for' bu' you're r'lly, really pretty…'nd you've got a r'lly nice rack too."

Hinata giggled from Naruto's lap.

Naruto made large circular motions with his hands. "Th're r'lly big n' round n' full n' stuff."

Hinata smiled and blushed deeply as she started to take off her jacket.

Naruto's eyes flicked between Hinata's face and her chest. "Can I uhh..?

She giggled again. "Do you wan' to touch them, Nar'to?"

Naruto's face screwed up in thought for a moment. "Okay." He started to reach for her.

"HEY, YOU KIDS! TAKE IT OUTSIDE!"

"Hey, 'nata, y'wanna get outa here?"

"Mm hmm."

Together they stumbled out into the street.

"N-nar'to?"

"Yeah?"

"I th'k I like alc'hol. Can we fin' s'more?"

Naruto grinned. "Don' w'rry, I kno' where th'rs lots."

0-0

"...and they were totally naked!" Hanabi's voice was incredulous. "If we hadn't walked in on them**,** they would have totally done it," she continued. "Right there in the bath, I mean people have to bathe there! Might as well just go ahead and do it in the dining hall in the middle of dinner! Seriously**,** no one wants to see that."

"Um... Hanabi?"

"Yes, Konohameru dear."

"Why are you in my house?"

"Is it wrong that I want to see my boyfriend?"

"But I'm not..." Some sixth sense told him that it would be a very bad idea to finish that sentence. It seemed as though stalking was genetic but Hanabi had still always been more...aggressive than her sister. _Oh well_, he thought, _at least she's pretty._

0-0

Hiashi was wandering through the complex. He liked to get out of his office on occasion and speak to the family members. And he definitely wasn't doing this to avoid the mountain of paperwork that was waiting for him in his office. Eventually, he ran into Neji.

"Good evening, Neji."

"Good evening, Uncle."

Hiashi blinked a few times and looked his nephew from head to toe.

"Neji, are you wearing an apron?"

"It's a smock," he said defensively.

Before Hiashi could comment further, Tenten, who was also dressed in a 'smock', interrupted. She was, he observed, rather dirty.

"Thanks, Neji. It would have taken forever if I had to so that all on my - Lord Hiashi!" She dropped to her knees and kowtowed. He still made her a bit nervous.

Hiashi motioned for her to rise and gave Neji a pointed look as if to say 'See, she gets it'.

Neji snorted.

Ignoring his nephew, Hiashi continued, "I see that you've discovered the forge."

"Yes, Lord Hiashi. It was presumptive of me I know but I took it upon myself to...uh." She trailed off not sure how to finish.

Hiashi chuckled. "So you thought to appropriate it for yourself?"

"Um, er...yes?" She bit her lip nervously.

Hiashi wrinkled his nose. "It's about time some one got some use out of it."

Neji smirked as Tenten bounced up and down squealed in delight. She managed to stop herself from giving Hiashi a hug and bowed instead.

"Thank you, Lord Hiashi."

Hiashi looked between her and his nephew. They looked good together. If what he had seen in the bath the previous day was any indication, Hinata had succeeded in her mission and so there was no longer any point in beating around the bush.

"Neji, you and Miss Tenten will meet me in my office after dinner tonight." He then turned on his heel and left.

0-0

A few hours later, Neji and Tenten, who were still dressed from dinner, waited outside of Hiashi's office.

"What do you think he wants?" asked Tenten nervously. figeting with her kimono, "Do you think he wants me to leave?"

Neji shrugged.

Hiashi entered and sat down at his desk.

"Good evening. I suppose you are wondering why I asked you here."

"Yes, Lord Hiashi," answered Tenten.

Neji, who anticipated the worst, just glared.

The action made Hiashi sigh a little, the boy was so paranoid.

"Neji, the council has made a decision concerning your engagement." Neji started to protest but Hiashi cut him off. "No, it's not Hinata."

Tenten looked devastated.

The corner of Hiashi's mouth turned up a little, and he turned to the kunoichi.

"Tenten, congratulations, you're engaged."

0-0

The morning sun rose slowly on the 'village' of Konoha. As the Hokage, Tsunade, blearily made her way to the office, she was met unexpectedly by her assistant.

"Shizune, why are you blocking the door?"

"Um…no reason. Uh, why don't you take the day off today?" she suggested nervously.

Tsunade was instantly suspicious. "What are you hiding?"

"N-nothing."

The Hokage narrowed her eyes. "Shizune..."

Her assistant gulped and moved to the side.

Tsunade snorted and swung open the door. Her eyes shot wide as she took in the state of her office. Naruto was lying unconscious on her office floor wearing only his underwear and was surrounded by HER empty sake bottles. Tsunade then noticed a tuff of purple hair that Naruto was hugging and a long pair of pale, feminine legs that poked out from the mess. Tsunade deduced that it was the equally nude Hyuuga heiress who was wrapped in Naruto's arms.

NA-RU-TO!" she bellowed.

* * *

**dun dun duuun!**

**Sorry this took so long, decided to take Japanese this semester, and guess what?**

**It's really hard! So I haven't had a lot of free time. **

**Anyway, I do plan on finishing this story so if it looks like it's dead, It's just resting, really!**

**also waaaay back a few chapters ago i got a request for a hitchhiker quote, so here it is. also my beta temarixshikamaruluva, requested a hanabi/konohamaru scene, ****so thats in there too. so yes i do requests, y'know eventually, if I feel like it.**


	8. Engage!

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter The Eighth:**

**Engage!**

**Naruto is not owned by me. It belongs to the people. Or that guy that draws it whose name I should probably look up.**

* * *

_The night before._

Tenten sat up suddenly and blinked the sleep out of her eyes.

"What?" she asked loudly in response to Hiashi's statement in the previous chapter. She looked around and didn't recognize the room she was in, let alone the bed she was resting upon. She did recognize her heirloom weapon cabinet against the wall. _Was it all a dream?_she wondered.

"You fainted."

Tenten threw a kunai towards the voice that startled her.

Neji dodged it casually and sent her an annoyed look.

"Um...sorry," she apologized. "It's a reflex." She lowered her eyes. "Neji, are we really...can your uncle do that? Just engage people?"

Neji couldn't read her expression. "He can't force you to do anything you don't want to. I, on the other hand..."

Tenten was silent for a few moments. "Neji, are you...alright with this?"

He remained silent.

She bit her lower lip and waited nervously.

"I don't mind," he answered.

Tenten sighed. That was probably as close to a love confession as she has likely to get from the stoic Hyuuga. She was surprised when he continued.

"I've had...feelings for you for quite some time." He paused dramatically. "...and I suspect you feel the same."

She blushed and gave a shy nod.

Neji's face remained impassive, while inwardly he did a happy dance.

"Tenten, this is a bit redundant but, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed and threw her arms around his neck. Then she remembered something and her grip tightened rather painfully. She looked over his shoulder with a small frown.

"Neji," she said in a calm voice. "Why is my stuff in your room?"

0-0

Somewhere Hiashi giggled quietly to himself. "Grandchildren! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"

0-0

_The next morning. _

Hinata awoke to shouting. Her head hurt, like, a lot. It felt like it had been stuffed with red-hot steel wool.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic, pea-brained, moronic things you could do-"

"SHUT UP!" she yelled, clutching her head in pain and trying to curl herself into a little ball.

"H-hinata?" Was Naruto stuttering? She cracked one bleary eye open.

Why did he look like he had been run over?

Several times.

By very large horses.

She felt cold panic as she saw who was standing behind him.

"Lady Hokage!" She sprung to her feet and a chill fell over her. She looked down, she was in her underwear. Oh god, she was having that dream again. Any second now her father would come in and tell her she was being replaced by a more popular character. The timid ninja shut her eyes tightly and tried to wake up.

"Hinata?" Tsunade snapped her fingers in front of the girls face to try to get her attention. Nothing Happened.

"Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream..." chanted the near nude Hinata.

Tsunade pinched her.

"Ow!"

"Do I have your attention now?" Hinata's skin paled as she realized that she was awake. When she wobbled a bit on her feet, Naruto moved over to steady her.

"Shizune, find Hinata some clothes," the village leader sighed.

Hinata suddenly felt very sick to her stomach.

"Blaaaagh." She threw up.

"And bring some for Naruto too."

0-0

Konohameru woke up slowly. He'd had the strangest dream. A giant rabbit with white eyes had been chasing him because it wanted his carrot. He wondered if that meant anything. When he opened his eyes, he was staring into a pair of pearly orbs.

"Gah!" He jumped off the bed. He was now fully awake.

"You're cute when you're asleep," Hanabi commented creepily.

"What are you doing here?"

She looked at him like he was stupid. "Watching you sleep, duh."

Konohameru was stunned at her blatant honesty.

"Oh and I need a date for my cousin's wedding. Wanna come?" She somehow managed to look both very cute and very scary at the same time.

"Um...Okay."

0-0

Meanwhile in a nest of sin (Aka: Anko's apartment.), Anko, Gai and Kakashi were sitting around the table in her small kitchen eating breakfast. The men looked exhausted for some reason.

"I'm sorry guys but it was another tie." Gai was uncharacteristicly subdued while Kakashi looked to be on the verge of collapse. "However," she continued obliviously, "I am prepared to keep doing this until a winner is declared, no matter how long it takes." She grinned lasciviously.

The two men groaned in unison.

There was a knock at the door and something fell through the letter slot. Anko walks over and picks it up.

"Uh, Gai, you might want to look at this."

It read:

_Clan Hyuuga cordially invites you to the wedding of:_

_Neji Hyuuga and Tenten Nolastname._

_Please RSVP_

Then there was a box to check to indicate weather you wanted chicken or fish.

_Is that really her last name? _thought Anko.

"THIS IS WONDERFUL!" Gai exploded, suddenly revitalized. "My youthful students have finally realized their LOVE! I must go a congratulate them!" He ran off in a cloud of dust.

"Huh, She must have taken my advice," commented Anko.

"ZZZZ," responded Kakashi, face down in his bacon.

0-0

"N-n-naruto, I'm s-so s-s-sorry!" apologized Hinata.

"I told you not to worry about it."

The pair were leaving the Hokage's building. Naruto was escorting the very hungover Hyuuga back to the compound. For some reason Naruto didn't get hangovers, probably something to do with his unwelcome guest. _She looks really bad, _he thought, _but still cute somehow._ The Hyuuga eyes were slightly disturbing when they were all bloodshot like that. They stopped in front of the Hyuuga compound.

"N-n-naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"W-what happened last night?" she asked tentatively, Hinata was aware that she might not like his answer.

"We got drunk," he returned with a grin.

"Um..I...I-I m-mean did we d-d-do anything?"

He frowned with an expression of hard concentration. "Oh you mean like boy-girl stuff."

Hinata turned red and nodded.

"We, uh." Naruto turned his head to the side to avoid looking at her. "Kind of made out." He paused. "Oh, and you let me touch your boobs!"(is that 2nd or 3rd base? I can never remember) His grin ratcheted up several levels. "That was awesome!"

Hinata blushed a deeper red. It was now or never. She gathered her nerve, screwed her eyes tightly shut. "W-w-would y-y-you l-l-like t-to d-do i-it a-a-again s-s-sometime?" She spoke in a loud clear voice. Then she realized how that sounded. "I-I-I m-mean g-go o-o-out t-t-together, l-l-like a d-d-d-d-date?"

Her answer was silence. Lots and lots of silence. Even the normal background noise of Kanoha seemed to stop. She cautiously opened one eye. Naruto was looking at her as if she had just slapped him with a fish.

"H-hinata?" he started in a shell-shocked voice. "Did you just ask me out?"

"Um, well...yes?"

"WOW! Yeah I'd love to go out with you!" he started to take her in his arms but then paused. "Um, is it okay if I don't kiss you? I mean I want to but you just..."

"Oh!" She self-consciously put her hand up in front of her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Meet me at Itchiraku's for lunch?"

"Okay," she agreed. And rushed inside, hangover forgotten to clean up and find some ramen-flavoured mouthwash.

0-0

Neji and Tenten were walking towards their usual training area at the usual time in the usual way, everything was normal. Except that it wasn't.

"Y'know Neji, a lot of people, when they get engaged, take the day off."

"Hn."

"No, really, some of them even take." She paused dramatically. "A vacation!"

"Hn." Neji ignored her, but despite this she continued, wistfully.

"To romantic and exotic places with warm sun soaked beaches and palm trees and stuff."

"Hn."

They walked together in silence for a while.

"This is because I made you sleep on the floor isn't it?"

"No," Neji lied.

It was at this point they arrived at their destination and were greeted by Lee. "My wonderful teammates have discovered their youthful love! It is a wonderful day! Let us hug!" Tenten's exuberant teammate caught her in his crushing grip.

"Lee...need...to...breath..." Her friend quickly released her and made to hug Neji but the prodigy's pale-eyed glare made him decide to settle for a handshake. "Congratulations Neji, you have finally declared your youthful love for our youthful flower!"

"Something like that anyway," muttered Tenten under her breath. She looked at Lee, something was different about him today..."Lee, what's that thing on your face?"

Lee stood up taller and thrust his chest out in a manful pose. "This is my Manly beard of Youth!"

"It looks like you're trying to swallow a badger," scoffed Neji.

"Neji..." She looked at Lee for a few moments, appraising the new growth. "It kind of suits you." she concluded.

"Yosh!" It was at this moment that Gai-sensei made his appearance.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei Neji and Tenten are engaged!"

"I know! Isn't it wonderful!"

"Wait, it only happened last night, how do you guys know?"

"We got these in the mail." They showed her their invitations.

Tenten paled. "Who else knows about this?" she asked with rising alarm.

"I think everyone in the village got one, all the ninja anyway," speculated Gai. "It's a pretty big deal."

"Nononononono," Tenten chanted, much to the confusion of the others.

"What's your problem?" groused Neji, he was ready to start training.

"They know!" she answered cryptically.

"Who?" questioned Lee.

"_THEM!_"

Neji was about to ask her to stop being obtuse and just spit it out when he became aware of an odd noise. It had been steadily growing in the background but he hadn't noticed until now.

"What's that noise?" It was a sort of high pitched 'squeeeee' sound.

Tenten was nearly quaking with fear. "They're coming!"

The noise continued to get louder until it seemed to surround them. "Somebody's getting MARRIED!" Sakura and Ino appeared suddenly from nowhere to double hug Tenten while bouncing up and down. "How did ithappen? Was it really romantic? Oh my god! Oh my god! I can't believe you're marring Neji!"(That's supposed to be all scrunched up together as one word but for some reason ffnet isn't letting me do that)

_Didn't they need to breath? _Neji thought.

Tenten shot Neji a '_please save me_' look. He just smirked at her. He really hadn't wanted to sleep on the floor.

She gave him the dirtiest look imaginable.

"Hello Sakura!" interrupted the ever hopeful Lee.

"Oh, hi Lee," she replied unenthusiastically before doing a double take. "Did you grow a beard?"

"Yosh!"

"It looks good," she said with a light blush.(What? It could happen.) Then went back over to where Ino was harassing the bride.

"C'mon, you can tell us EVERYTHING while we plan the shower," said Ino while dragging Tenten by one arm.

"But I already had one..."

"A WEDDING shower, silly," corrected Sakura while grabbing her other arm and lifting her off the ground.

"NOOOOOOO!" wailed Tenten as they dragged her off to her doom.

* * *

**Sorry, sorry for taking so long, I kind of started another story without meaning to...it's for that game I was obsessed with in the last chapter so if there are any Dragon Age fans reading this you might want to check it out. It's called "Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer" I think it's going rather well...** **anyway next time: Tenten's Shower, and maybe some other stuff, kind of depends, all I have is a title right now, "The day Before the Morning After" or not after all the only constant is change, oh and Pi but just those two.** **Oh and leave some damn reviews dammit. **


	9. The day before the Morning after

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter the Ninth**

**The Night Before the Morning After**

**I do not own Naruto, or much of anything else really, it's...kind of depressing...**

* * *

Perhaps 'Doom' was a bit melodramatic. Tenten was actually sort of enjoying herself. It was kind of nice to hang out with with other girls for a change. Most of the village kunoichi were here. Ninja weddings were kind of rare, Hyuuga ones even more so, So the girls were really letting their hair down. Tenten was the guest of honor. She clinked her glass, full of some garish pink liquid Anko had assured her was some kind of fruit drink.

"Um, hi, everybody." There were a few catcalls from the back of the room. "I'm really touched that you threw me this party, even though it was all Ino's idea." The blond stood up and took a bow to the cheers of the assembled multitudes. "But before we get started I just wanted to ask one thing," She pointed forcefully at the offending party. "Why is _SHE_ here?"

The Sand kunoichi slowly raised one eyebrow. "I love you too, bun girl."

Unable to think of a witty rejoinder Tenten just growled at her quad-tailed nemesis.

Temari smirked. "Are you still upset that I beat you? That was years ago, get over it already."

"You tried to kill me!"

Temari pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, do you want this present or not?" She held up a large box with a ribbon tied around it.

There was a long silence as Tenten weighed her love of presents against her dislike of the caustic blond. _That is a pretty big box._ she thought. "...okay, you can stay."

Temari rolled her eyes. "Wonderful." she said sarcasticly.

0-0

Neji had realized his mistake as soon as Tenten had disappeared from view. He had greatly miscalculated. He had been forced to train with Gai and Lee.

The Horror.

He had survived, if only just, and was now trudging back to the compound for a much needed rest.

"Heya, Neji." Naruto greeted, seemingly appearing from nowhere.

The exhausted Hyuuga slowly turned to affix the enthusiastic blond with a baleful glare. Naruto took a step back.

"Uh, Neji, me and the guys were gonna go get a few dr-"

"No."

"But we were go-"

"No."

"Bachelor part-"

"No, go away." with that he disappeared into the Hyuuga compound.

_Geez,_ Naruto thought, _Somebody needs to get laid._

0-0

The party was starting to get into gear and Tenten was surveying her pile of newly acquired swag. It seemed a lot of people thought that she needed to wear sexier underwear and had gifted her with such. Other people had gotten her weapons, the best of which was from the diplomatic envoy from Suna on the behalf of the Kazekage, a pair of Katar punch daggers and a manual detailing the proper fighting forms for using them. The manual was a nice touch, usually she had to look that information up herself.

The most unusual gift had been, unsurprisingly from Anko, a copy of 'The Karma Sutra for Beginners' personally annotated by Kanoha's own goddess of fishnet with all the positions rated on a scale from 'Eh' to 'oh my god, yes!'.

Tenten was attempting to discretely sneek a peek when she was approached by a nervous looking Sakura.

"Tenten?"

"AAA!" startled she quickly hid the book behind her back and turned to regard the pink haired medic. "I mean, uh, yes Sakura?"

"Er, I don't know how to say this but..." She looked away and anxiously rubbed the back of her neck. "Is Lee still single?"

Tenten recovered quickly from her surprise. "Um...as far as I know, although I think there were a few other girls he was interested in..." That had been a total lie but it couldn't hurt to try to make her friend look less deranged.

"Oh, okay." Sakura wandered off with a rather thoughtful expression. Good deed for the day done Tenten went back to trying to look at the book.

0-0

Hinata arrived at the party rather late. She had taken a bit too long saying goodbye to Naruto, and by "saying goodbye" she meant sticking her tongue down his throat. The party seemed to have dissolved into small groups.

In one corner Anko was holding court with a group of younger kunoichi that Hinata didn't know, who were regarding her with blatant worship.

"And that's how I got Kakashi and Gai to be my personal sex slaves."

"Anko-sempai?" questioned one of her admirers. "I understand Kakashi but, um, why Gai?"

Anko regarded the girl with the most lecherous grin ever seen on any human being that was not named Jiraiya. "One word, endurance."

Hinata quickly sped out of earshot.

At the bar Temari and Ino were bonding over their frustration with their mutual crush.

"He'_sh_ ju_sh_t _sho_ damn lay_sh_e!(lazy)" complained Temari, obviously drunk. "It_sh_ _sho_ hard to get him to do any_sh_ing!"

"I know, believe me, I know." Sympathized her fellow blond.

Hinata noticed the normally vicious sand-nin was openly weeping.

"I mean I came all thi_sh_ way ju_sh_t to be with him and I spend the whole time screaming at him like some demented harpy." She sloppily blew her nose on a cocktail napkin. "I ju_sh_t want him to hold me, dammit!" with that she lay her forehead on the other girl's shoulder.

Ino softly patted her on the back of the head. "There, there." she said in a reassureing voice.

Feeling uncomfortably like she had just witnessed something she shouldn't have, Hinata moved on.

She found the guest of honor sitting alone at one of the tables playing with a cocktail umbrella and giggling. "Hee hee hee up, down, up, down..." she had a big innocent grin on her face.

"Tenten?"

"Oh, hey 'Nata. C'mere and see thish."

Hinata obliged.

"See, see, now look," She moved the umbrella to the up position. "look, look, look this is the best bit, now, see?" She folded it closed. "Isn't that amazing? Why does it do that?"

"Tenten, are you drunk?"

"Naw, cn't be drn'k only had juice fruit, fruice juit, that stuff." she gestured at a glass of familiar pink liquid.

Hinata gave it it quick sniff, then a small sip. "Tenten, that's grapefruit juice and vodka."(What is that called? I have no idea.)

Tenten eyed her suspiciously. "How do YOU know that?"

"Er..." the timid Hyuuga decided to change the subject. "How many of those have you had?"

"Dunno, twelve?" she answered offhandedly. "Is that a lot?"

"Um...maybe we should leave?"

"'Kay," she agreed cheerfully. "Ooo! Don' frg't m'presents."

Hinata managed to find a couple of sacks to carry all the gifts and made their way to the door.

"Buh-bye, ever'body!" Tenten announced.

"Bye!" responded the party goers still capable of speech.

"'Kay 'Nata, les' go."

0-0

Neji was awakened by someone pulling on his shirt.

"Nejiiiiiiii! Wake up Neji!"

It was his fiance', it still felt weird thinking that. She was straddling him and pulling on his shirt in a most insistent manner. Oh, and she was also naked.

"Tenten?" to say that he was surprised would be a massive understatement.

"Neji," she pouted. "You wear too m'ny clothe_sh_."

"What?"

"Wanna have sexsh." slurred the drunken bride-to-be.

Neji's conscience warred with his libido. On one hand Tenten was obviously drunk, this could be seen as taking advantage of her. On the other hand they _were _engaged...

Libido won in straight sets. Neji quickly disrobed.

"Eag'r arn't we?" she said to him in a sultry voice. Then leaned forward to kiss him on the lips, then down his neck and slowly, one might say excrutiatingly slowly, worked her way down his cheast and stomach headed to...Is she going to..neji thought.

Then she stopped.

"Tenten?"

"Zzzzzz."

Neji groaned, this was going to be a long night.

* * *

**I know it's kind of short but that seemed like a good place to end, plus I didn't want to make you wait another six months like I did last time. Not a lot of reveiws last chapter, at least compared to my other story so...nothing, I'm just saying...**


	10. The Morning after the night before

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter the Tenth**

**The Morning After the Night Before**

**I've run out of interesting ways to say that I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

After several hours of laying awake Neji finally managed to fall asleep, only to be awakened what seemed like seconds later.

"Neji," someone whispered at him urgently. He groaned and tried to go back to sleep.

"Neji!" The voice became more insistent.

"What?" he answered blearily.

"Why are we naked?" whispered Tenten.

He glared at her.

She looked back with an expression of confused innocence. "What?"

Neji narrowed his eyes at her. She obviously didn't remember last night.

"Wow Neji, you look terrible." She put a hand to his forehead, suddenly concerned. She squinted at him in the darkness."Hmmm, Doesn't feel like you have a fever." She got out of bed and circled around to his side, unintentionally giving Neji an excellent look at her nude form. He growled a bit in the back of his throat.

"Oh, are you hungry?" she misinterpreted, walking over towards the closet to get some clothes.

"Not for food," he mumbled under his breath.

"Did you say something?" she asked, turning back towards him. Despite having asked him why, the fact that she was naked didn't seem to bother her in the least, and Neji felt his throat dry. He swallowed.

"Tenten, come here."

She made her way over to him with a slightly curious expression. Once she was within reach Neji grabbed her and pulled her over until she was laying face up on the bed with him crouching over her. She looked up at him with big, round eyes.

"Neji, wha-" He silenced her with a deep fierce kiss, pinning her wrists above her head with one hand while the other explored her lithe physique. Her head was spinning, what was going on? Then Neji met her eyes with a smoldering look and she understood. _Oh, that. _She struggled against his grip but not too hard, she didn't want to actually get away after all. He growled possessively as if to say "MINE!" then the camera sort of panned off to the side and faded out.

0-0

Hiashi was sitting at his desk piled with the endless paperwork that seemed to come with the position of clan head. He wondered if he could push it off on Hinata and say it was training or something. Then he could go see how far Neji and his rather attractive fiancee' had gotten on the whole grandchildren thing.

He was taken out of his thoughts by a quiet knock on the door.

"Enter."

"H-hello, F-father."

"Hinata." he greeted his daughter and heir as she crept into the room and shut the door behind her. She paused for a few moments, took a few hesitant steps into the center of the room, ignoring the chairs that had been set in front of his desk.

"F-father I want to bring a d-date to the wedding," she announced

Hiashi raised his eyebrow, he wasn't aware his daughter was interested in anyone except...

"Hinata, I'm a reasonable man so I know you're not talking about that Uzamaki boy."

She remained silent and lowered her head.

"No Hinata, absolutely not," he said gravely.

She sniffled.

"Hinata, stop that." He ordered.

She raised her head up to look at him, eyes wet with unshed tears.

"No, stop that right now!" he repeated with an increasingly frantic tone.

Her lower lip started to tremble.

"Oh fine." the clan head relented. "Just stop doing that."

The heir wiped her face on her sleeve and smiled slightly. "Thank you F-father."

Hiashi breathed a sigh of relief as she left the room. His daughter was going to be one hell of a clan head. The rest of the Hyuuga clan had almost no resistance against her Teary-eyes-no-jutsu.

0-0

Tenten was enjoying the afterglow, toying with Neji's hair. Her fiancee (that still felt weird to say) was dozing lightly next to her. _So _she thought,_ that's what all the fuss is about._ It had been...kind of awkward at first as they felt each other out, but eventually they got the hang of it and it was..._fantastic._

Why had they wasted so much time dancing around each other when they could have been doing that?

Out of the corner of her eye she spied the clock on Neji's nightstand. _Oh shit_, she thought,_ I'm late. _She started to try to get up but Neji wouldn't let go. Tenten rolled her eyes, this was so not the time.

"Neji." she jostled him awake once again

"Hmm? Tenten?" He replied muzzily, blinking up at her.

"I need to go."

Neji looked confused for a second before realizing he was holding her "Oh." He reluctantly released her.

Tenten wasted no time as she frantically darted about the room whilst simultaneously fixing her hair.

"Where did those stupid women put my clothes?" She griped in reference to her nemeses, the Hyuuga household maids.

Neji sat back and enjoyed the view as his fiancee traipsed about in her birthday suit completely unselfconsciously.

"Ah-ha!" she crowed triumphantly, hoisting her clothes upward. Neji was a bit disappointed the show was over.

"I'll be back later, Neji." She leaned over meaning to give him a quick peck on the lips but he held her in place and deepened it considerably.

"Don't take too long." He ordered with a low rumble.

Tenten blushed shyly and left.

Neji sighed in a satisfied way and went back to sleep.

0-0

He awoke about two hours later. Tenten had yet to return. This should be rectified as soon as possible. So, now in 'find Tenten' mode Neji got dressed and left his room . First stop was the kitchen, she wasn't there but he did manage to snatch a bagel. Next stop was Hinata's room.

0-0

The Hyuuga heiress was in her room quietly reading one of Neji's Icha-Icha books. She had just gotten to her favorite part where Ling and Lan-Fan had admitted their feelings for one another and were about to engage in enthusiastic and, in Hinata's opinion, impossibly acrobatic sex when there was a knock on her door. It was almost immediately followed by said door opening to reveal the book's owner. She just barely managed to thrust the illicit literature beneath her pillow in time.

"Neji?"

Her cousin stuck his head through the doorway, byakugan activated and scanned the room. "Do you know where Tenten is?" he demanded.

Hinata was slightly taken aback. Not that he ever said 'Hello' or exchanged social pleasantries, but there was usually at least some kind of pause of acknowledgment. The intensity of his gaze was unnerving. "I-I-I t-think s-she had a dress f-fitting."

"Hn." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then abruptly left, slideing the door closed silently.

Hinata rolled her eyes. And people said_ she_ was obsessed.

0-0

He eventually found her in the forge. Apparently she was done with the dress.

"Tenten?"

"Neji?" she motioned urgently. "Quick, get over here!"

The Hyuuga prodigy noticed a faint hissing sound coming from the bench near where Tenten was, this combined with the fact that the weapons mistress was crouching behind an improvised barricade of large heavy things alerted him that something...interesting was about to happen.

Tenten was playing with explosives again.

Neji sighed but still dashed over next to her behind the barricade. Tenten was squatting down behind it holding a very long stick with a length of slow burning fuse at the far end. Set up on the bench in front of the obstruction was a long metal tube, sealed at one end with a small hole drilled into the top.

"What's all this?" he asked, finally giving into curiosity

"Just an idea I had last night at the party." She even had a twinkle in her eye and everything as she concentrated on the alignment of the metal tube on the counter.

"You can remember last night?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Tenten shot him a dirty look. "Parts of it. Anyway, I remember the champagne corks flying across the room."

"And that relates to this, how?"

"Just watch, I've filled the tube with explosive powder and stuffed a crossbow bolt in the end." She brandished the stick. "So when I put this in that hole it should light the powder and propel the bolt into that target over there," She paused in thought for a moment. "Or explode."she added in an off-hand manner.

Neji was about to respond with something along the lines of 'don't use explosives in the house' but Tenten spoke first.

"Here goes!" She touched the fuse into the hole in the tube and there was a loud bang and a great deal of smoke. "Did it work?" Waving her hands in an effort to clear the smoke in front of her face, Tenten poked her head out from behind the barricade.

They waited a few minutes for the smoke to clear revealing that the tube was still intact and that the bolt was was embedded several inches into the opposite wall. It had completely missed the target though.

Tenten quickly moved to the impact zone to make observations.

"Hmm. Good penetration, not very accurate though...burned off fletching, maybe try a different projectile..." she mumbled to herself.

Neji gave an internal sigh. She was in 'research mode' he wasn't a big fan of 'research mode'. Tenten demonstrating the reason for this was ignoring him in favor of her notes. He frowned. This wouldn't do at all. He came up behind her and embraced her around her waist and kissed her on the back of the neck.

She squeaked in surprise. "Neji! I'm working!"

The pale eyed shinobi ignored her protest and kissed her again.

"Neji, stop, someone might come in." She was smiling now, he knew it.

He worked his hands up under her shirt and she stopped protesting, a low moan slipping from the back of her throat.

"Well, okay...but just this once."

Neji smirked.

0-0

Shikamaru was awakened from his slumber by an uncanny sense of foreboding. He tried to get up but found he couldn't. Something was holding him in place. He opened his eyes to reveal a pair of blond heads resting on his chest. _How did they get in here?_ He thought, _Oh, right, ninja._ Remaining calm he attempted to disentangle himself. The slightly spiky blond on the left let loose a warning growl. He went very still. This was not going to end well.

0-0

Lee gathered his resolve. He was going to ask Sakura out on a date. Again. It would be different from the other 1,378 times he had asked her out, this time she would say yes!

He entered the hospital where his target was working. She looked as if she was on a break. That was a good sign, he had learned not to bother her while she was working.

"Hello Sakura!" he greeted with his usual enthusiasm.

"Oh, hello Lee." She looked up at him, and the corner of her mouth seemed to lift slightly. It might be his imagination but she seemed pleased to see him.

"Did you receive an invitation to Neji and Tenten's wedding?" he asked.

"Just about everyone did, Lee," Sakura replied. The amused smile grew just a fraction.

"Well I was wondering if you would do me the very great honor of accompanying me."

The smile disappeared and Lee's heart dropped. Sakura looked thoughtful for a few minutes, then a few minutes more, and then she furrowed her brow in thought for a few minutes longer.

"What are you wearing?" she asked suddenly.

"What do you want me to wear?" he responded honestly.

After thinking on _that_ for what seemed to Lee like quite a long time she responded. "Okay."

"Oh," Lee sounded disappointed. "I understa-, um, what?"

"Yes, Lee, I'll go with you." she said, with a small smile.

Lee started to spaz out. His heart started to pound and his eyes shone with the fire of youth. Lee started to spaz out. "If it is not your best date fever I shall run 5000 laps of the village, and if I cannot do that I will-"

"Lee," she interrupted. "Don't make me regret this."

"Yes! Of course! I must prepare!" He rocketed off in a cloud of dust.

Sakura sighed quietly. Maybe this was a bad idea...but he just looked so cute with that beard...

* * *

**kind of short and not really my best work...hmm.**

**anyway, Getting towards the end now folks.**

**Oh and I'd like to thank Tanya Lilac for filling in at beta at the last moment.**


	11. Wedding

**Weapon of Choice**

**Chapter the Last**

**Wedding**

**I don't own Naruto, but I feel like I should by now.**

* * *

Tenten collapsed in utter exhaustion on the bed in the room she now officially shared with Neji, completely disregarding whatever effect it had on her blindingly white kimono with the gold embroidered pattern of Hyuuga flames. She stared up at the ceiling and let her eyes close, a small smile tugging at her lips.

_What a day._ she thought. Who knew getting married was such a hassle? To call it hectic would be an epic understatement. Even though is was supposed to be the happiest day of her life she remembered surprisingly very little of it. Right now she was just too overwhelmed by everything to recall many specific details.

For starters the wedding itself had been enormous. The ceremony itself had taken place in the Hyuuga compound's enormous dining hall. The Hyuuga spared no expense when it came to celebrations. There were tasteful white decorations everywhere; her bouquet had consisted entirely of pure white roses, and white doves were released the air when she started her walk down the aisle. Neji had looked pleased – she knew caged birds were his thing. Later he'd told her he'd been staring at her, 'not the damn doves'.

Practically everyone in the Fire Country, or at least everyone who mattered, had gotten an invitation to her wedding.

"Who are all these people?" she had commented at the time. She had never really realized what a big deal the Hyuuga were. Representatives from all the shinobi villages had attended. Even the fire daiymo had put in a brief appearance. Tenten had felt so far out of her depth that the fish had lights on their heads. Neji dealt with it with his usual reserve, the bastard, while she had been reduced to smiling and nodding whenever she was spoken to. Hopefully she hadn't embarrassed herself too badly. The Hokage looked surprisingly regal in her official robes as she performed the actually ceremony. However, Tsunade had been refreshingly relaxed and happy (not to mention sober), and had winked at the couple at the end of the ceremony.

Thankfully the reception afterward had been a much smaller affair with only close friends and family. Naruto and Hinata had disappeared into a cloak room fifteen minutes after they had finished eating. (Neither of them would be seen again again until the next week, both looking exhausted with huge grins on their faces.)

Tenten remembered Lee looking sharp in a black pinstripe suit that she suspected Sakura had picked out for him. He had spent most of the night dancing with the pink haired kunoichi with a blissful look on his face; his mood had been infectious and in a quiet moment, even Neji had relaxed a few face muscles at the sight of his friend's happiness. Tenten had wordlessly slipped her hand into his from their position at the bridal table, leaning her head against his shoulder as she continued to watch her friends.

Not even a half hour into the reception, Anko was making liberal use of the open bar and feeling up Hiashi. No one could really tell if he was put off by her boldness, or just enjoying the attention. Shikimaru was being tag-team harangued into dancing with both Ino and Temari at the same time, all the while wearing a 'help me' expression on his face. Hanabi had spent dinner hanging all over Konohamaru, cooing things like 'when we get married, we'll have a champagne fountain, won't we?' and the boy looking decidedly nervous.

Tenten opened her eyes and sighed in remembrance; grateful it was finally over . She just wanted to get out of the heavy kimono and into bed with her new husband… that felt even weirder to say than 'fiancé'. She tried to get up but couldn't find the strength; she then tried to untie the belt thing (she thought it was called an obi.) and slide herself out of it but it was tied at the back. With yet another sigh, she flopped back onto the bed, cursing whoever had invented these kinds of formal clothes.

"Neji!" she called.

He came out of the bathroom and shot her a questioning look. She was looking uncomfortably useless on the bed, her arms spread out, the outer layers of her kimono starting to slip further out of place. (It had started when she had decided to do the chicken dance.)

"Help!"

Neji rolled his eyes in a fond way. "What is it now?"

"I can't get up." She flailed her arms to demonstrate.

"Tenten..." he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What? I'm serious, this is really heavy."

With another sigh he helped her up. Then started removing his own, much more practical garments. Tenten started to undo her obi but it was stuck. She tugged a few times, but it wouldn't budge.

"Uh...Neji?"

"Hn?"

"Could you uh...help me with this?" She asked meekly, fluttering her eyelashes at him with a coy smile.

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. She was probably drunk if she thought this would be enough to convince him.

She turned her back to him, showing off the nape of her neck. "The knot won't come undone," she whined playfully and inched backwards.

Neji remained silent. He enjoyed irritating her. And would continue to enjoy irritating her for a very, very long time. Years, in fact.

"Dammit Neji, take my clothes off right now!" She snapped.

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms at her.

She turned her back to him. "The knot won't come undone." she whined playfully and thrust herself back at him.

Neji remained silent. He enjoyed irritating her.

"Dammit Neji, take my clothes off right now!"

Neji smirked. Tenten blushed a little at how that had come out. It was time to change tactics.

"Neji, if I can't get undressed we can't have sex." she reasoned, deciding to bring out the big guns.

He frowned but still didn't move, he wanted to see how far she would go.

The kunoichi cleared her throat. Time to be even more specific. "Neji, there's a book on the nightstand, turn it to page seventy-three."

Karma-sutra for beginners, read the cover. It was probably a gift from her bridal shower or something. His curiosity finally piqued, Neji turned to the indicated page. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

If you help me, She purred, "we can do that."

All pretence at nonchalance gone, the Hyuuga prodigy very rapidly untied the knot but before he could remove the obi entirely, Tenten interrupted him.

"Wait, stop." she grinned and put her arms around his neck. "Do that thing where you pull the belt and I spin around."

Smirking Neji did as she asked, he had to admit it was kind of fun. Maybe he could convince her to wear kimono more often in the future. Now that they were married, and all. He took a moment to process this fact, for the seventy third time that day.

Feigning dizziness Tenten put her hand to her cheek and in a falsetto voice said. "Oh my Lord Hyuuga do what you will to this fair maiden." She was breathing a bit faster, and her kimono was well and truly beginning to slide off her shoulders, revealing her collarbones. Her hairpiece had fallen to the floor, forgotten along with the sash, and her hair was falling in loose curls to brush against her shoulder.

Neji snorted as she shrugged off her clothes, revealing she was wearing nothing underneath her heavy kimono. Smiling, she reached up to ruffle her hair, and he took her in his arms with a passionate kiss, a hand in her hair and the other against her back. He kissed her until they were breathless, and she smiled when he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

"I thought you'd never come around," she whispered, helping him take the last of his clothes off, her hands roaming over his body as he led them over to the bed. He kissed her again, pulling her close so he could feel her skin against him again.

"I love you Neji."

"Hn."

Tenten immediately stopped, and placed a hand on his chest. "Neji." She warned.

He mumbled something, averting his eyes to the lampshade.

"What was that?"

"I love you, Tenten." he said just loud enough for her to hear.

She smiled sweetly at him and picked up where they left off.

END

* * *

Yes I suck at endings, I freely admit it.

Thanks for reading and extra special thanks to everyone who stuck around through the whole thing.

Once again I am thanking my Beta Tanya Lilac, without whom this probably would have been even worse.


End file.
